I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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