then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
