Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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