people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
