garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
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