Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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