Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
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I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
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She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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