Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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