You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
