He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
