sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize