i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
