I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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