that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
