He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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