Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Randomize
