Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
