margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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