Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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