have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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