He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
