You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
