i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
