pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
