Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
