I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
