Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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