I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
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Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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