idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
