Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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