I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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