dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
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No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
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We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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