This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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