I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
She said her name was "party"
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
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Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
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A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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