I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.