This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.