My room smells like vodka and shame
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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