this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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