Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You ate ashes out of my bong
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
