if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Randomize
