At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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