i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
he fucked my hip out of place.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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