Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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