My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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