Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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