Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
