Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest