I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?