I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
We left the knife in your bed.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?