Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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