I met the friendliest cop last night
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Found the puke drawer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize