I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
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So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
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i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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