did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
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