I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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