Even water is tasting like jack daniels
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
