woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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