Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
