Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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