matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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