i need an iv and a liver transplant
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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