yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
