So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize