its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
